進入半導體業當了國外業務一年的時間，時常累到忙到覺得自己的靈魂被掏空了。因緣際會下聽到了Adele最新專輯裡面的 I drink Wine，覺得自己這段時間受委屈的靈魂好像被洗滌了一般，很久沒有這種感覺了，所以想紀念一下。這張專輯第一首主打歌 Easy On Me講述了Adele對兒子解釋為什麼如此愛他的媽媽選擇了離婚這一條路，因為世界還這麼美好、這麼寬闊，她還想再多看看，多體會，也是深深打中我的心。不過今天的重點是Adele在2022 The BRIT Awards 演唱的 I drink wine, 想必這首歌對她來說也是獨具意義吧。雖然Taylor Swift 是我此生摯愛，但Adele總是能用她渾厚無懈可擊的嗓音，把其實很心酸的事，用一種既豁達卻又無奈的方式呈現，讓人聽完之後，雖然無奈心酸還在，卻也不再那麼難受了。這就是Adele的魔力吧。
翻譯歌詞太多人做了，歌詞翻譯有時候沒有什麼真正正確的，我常常認為翻譯就是一種譯者將所看到的文字，結合了自身的經驗和體悟的產出。所以我想要用散文的方式來「詮釋」這首歌。
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By choices that somebody else makes?
How come we've both become a version
Of a person we don't even like?
But the world just wants to bring us down
By putting ideas in our heads
That corrupt our hearts somehow
Every single thing could blow my mind
Soaking it all up for fun
But now I only soak up wine
Find balance in the sacrifice
Yet I don't know anybody
Who's truly satisfied
To keep climbing (climbing, climbing)
But the higher we climb
Feels like we're both none the wiser (ahh)
Stop trying to be somebody else
So we can love each other for free
Everybody wants something
You just want me
About the things I can't control?
Why am I seeking approval
From people I don't even know?
Something I can cling on to
'Cause I need some substance in my life
Something real, something that feels true
High tides (high tides, high tides)
'Cause I want you so bad
But you can't fight fire with fire (ahh)
Stop trying to be somebody else
Oh, I just want to love you (so we can love)
Love you for free (each other for free)
Everybody wants something from me
You just want me
I give as good as I get
You get the brunt of it all
'Cause you're all I've got left
Oh, I hope in time (hope in time)
We both will find (we both find) peace of mind
Sometimes the road less traveled
Is a road best left behind (ahh)
Stop trying to be somebody else
Oh, I just want to love you (so we can love)
Love you for free, yeah (each other for free)
'Cause everybody wants something from me
You just want me
To keep climbing (climbing, climbing)
But the higher we climb
Feels like we're both none the wiser
I wish that it was just at a different time
A most turbulent period of my life
Why would I put that on you?
That's just like a very heavy thing to have to talk about
But because of that period of time
Even though it was so much fun
I didn't get to go on and make new memories with him
There was just memories in a big storm
唯一讓我感到遺憾的是
那段我人生最混亂的時刻發生在與你在一起的時光
當時的我怎麼會讓你承受這一切呢？
跟你說這些會是多麽沈重
即便我們在一起的時光是如此開心
還是因為種種問題
我們並不能夠再繼續製造新的快樂回憶
而所有的回憶也都變成在一團混亂中...
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聽到這首歌的當下，我正經歷工作以及感情上最彷徨最混亂的一段時光。工作上達到最初為自己設的目標：科技業的國外業務，然而繞了一大圈我真的抵達這個位置，卻發現自己並不快樂，隨著生活priority改變，五年前想要的生活已經不是現在想要的，當然其中原因也包含每一份工作真的不像站在門外的人所想像的一樣美好。Covid疫情改變了每一個人的生活方式，其中在家上班徹底改變我對一份工作的期待和想像。我開始思考自己究竟想要過怎麼樣的生活，而小時候嚮往的一切，卻成為現在迷惘的根源。科技業坐擁高薪，國外業務一大半時間在國外，看似令人羨慕，然而家庭生活怎麼辦？這是以前我沒有想過，但現在必須被迫思考的。就像歌詞中唱的曾經嚮往的一切只換來現在的渾渾噩噩，迷失方向。感情上歷經告別一段十年的初戀，覺得整個人重新活了一遍。告別的不只是對方，更是跟自己道別。在等待重生的過程中，就像那十年你不曾活過。即便中間的變化是再清楚不過，而過程無比清晰，卻仍怎麼想也都想不明白原來感情確實是敵不過現實。然而人生或許就是在各種遺憾中成長吧，而每一次的相遇都是久別重逢。
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